Managing the 'Mompetition'

If you want to feel good about your family’s achievements, as well as your parenting skills, avoid those two-page, single-space “holiday greetings” .

While I truly enjoy getting updates on my friends’ and relatives’ lives, some of those letter-writers use the holidays as an excuse to ratchet up the mom- and pop-petition.

Over the years, I’ve received holiday mail recounting records broken, awards received, scholarships won and college-test triumphs. I’ve also read of expansive remodels, vacation home purchases, exciting trips to remote locales and tireless, Mother Theresa-like volunteerism.

And, as happy as I feel for others' wonderful lives, I’m concerned that no one tells the real story. When you only hear about the superlatives in one’s life, you miss the details — as well as the challenges and obstacles — that provide a full and honest portrait of adulthood and/or family life.

So, this year, I decided to draft an imaginary Christmas missive. (Please note—as my kids would urge you to do – the following is complete fiction. It does not reflect real incidents in my household, although it probably could, and does not intend to make light of real-world struggles.)

Greetings, Friends and Family, Near and Far,

We hope this letter finds you happy and healthy, and enjoying the holiday season.

It has been a roller-coaster year for our family, but that’s life, isn’t it?

Martha applied to 38 universities—thanks to a wonderful list drawn up by her college coach – and after reviewing her options, decided to take a “gap year.” She is gaining a broader world view and a good lesson in tolerance at a downtown Seattle McDonalds. We hear that she may be promoted to assistant manager for the midnight-to-6 am shift, so we are of course very proud of our young lady.

To read this missive in its entirety, please click this link to my weekly blog, Permission Slips (http://permissionslips.wordpress.com/2011/12/09/let-the-mompetition-begin/) which I write alternately with my friend and colleague, .