Mommy Guilt, Italian-Style

Regardless of the truth about , as the Italian judge read his verdict last week, my strongest emotion was , Edda Mellas.

From the moment our children enter our lives, we love and support them — by and large, unconditionally. We take pride in their successes — often inordinately — and secretly feel that our great genes or effective parenting may be responsible.

Whether their kids’ strengths are academic, athletic or artistic, most of us parents puff up with pride when a child performs well. (For proof, read some of the exuberant, long-winded Christmas letters that fly through the air each December.) 

But here’s the rub: if you take credit for your kids’ successes, must you bear the blame for their failures?

Amanda Knox is a lovely girl who studied at a high-caliber high school, was successful in sports and attended the University of Washington, a well-regarded university. She seems strong, capable and independent; she chose to study abroad, mastered a foreign language and landed a part-time job soon after arriving. Amanda’s achievements must have made her parents proud.

So, how did Edda Mellas feel four years ago, when the shocking news was broadcast from Perugia? All at once, the entire world learned that her "baby" was having sex with a young Italian man, drinking alcohol and smoking hash. And what’s more, if the Italian media could be believed, she was engaging in drug-fueled sex games, and was potentially an accessory to her British roommate’s grisly murder.

Did Edda ever doubt her daughter’s innocence? 

Please click here to read the rest of this blog at permission slips (http://permissionslips.wordpress.com/) — a blog written in collaboration with friend and fellow Mercer Islander — and find out how the mothers involved in the case might have felt.