Permission Slips and Flowers for Cyber Friends

Years before Carol and I dreamed of starting a blog, a colleague got me hooked on “French Word-A-Day,” a thrice-weekly blog written by an American woman who married a Frenchman who owns and runs a vineyard in Provence.

Like thousands of other readers, I quickly felt connected to the blog’s author, Kristin Espinasse, and her vignettes about life as an expatriate trying to master French language and customs.

Recently, my “cyber friend” Kristin hinted that a major change would soon impact her family; she told us the news would emerge in late August.

And then, last week Kristin wrote a heart-wrenching post entitled “Larme” (for teardrop), in which she noted that the upcoming change “has thrown me off course.” She wrote that it was increasingly harder to find the motivation to write her blog, and that day, when she finally sat down at the computer, tears had begun to flow.

She courageously asked her readers if she should change the frequency of the blog posts from thrice weekly to once, or perhaps even less.

What followed were hundreds of responses from Kristin’s loyal readers, most concerned about her tears and her general state of mind.

As I read through the comments, it dawned on me that the struggles women face are universal. As Carol and I stress in our “Permission Slips” blog (and book proposal), women need to give themselves – and their friends – permission to give themselves breaks, to jump off the treadmill, to let some of the spinning plates drop, to follow their own guiding lights.

We all spend too much energy trying to please our partners, our kids, our employers, our communities, our friends and even our in-laws, and somewhere along the way, we forget to take care of ourselves.

While specifically written for Kristin, the “French Word-A-Day” comments provide advice we could all heed: forget about doing for others for a moment, and remember to look after you. Click here to read some of the comments in the full PermissionSlips post.

And, dear cyber friends, if you would like to receive our blog in your inbox each week, please email PermissionSlips1@gmail.com.