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The Need for Speed

What's a mother to do with a gear head who has a need for speed? This author shows that love means learning how to change your mind.

High school boys shouldn’t own cars—at least that’s what I told my first two sons.

I’ve watched enough movies to know what dangers lurk when a teenager has wheels: speed, accidents, “sex, drugs and rock and roll.”

So, when my first two sons turned 16, I stressed that we had a spare car available, and if all went well, they would retain the privilege of driving it.

Then along came my third son, the “gear head.”

As a toddler, he adored wheels and gears. His first word was “truck,” and at day care, he would “park” the push toy curbside before heading home.

He spent hours “driving” our Fred Flintstone-like plastic “mini-van,” and treated his electric jeep like a real car – checking the tires and hosing it off in the driveway.

When Son #3 was about 10, we consolidated his Christmas and birthday (Dec. 26) funds and bought him a gas-powered scooter. The kid could not have been happier.

However, he soon became bored with Scooter #1, sold it via eBay, and bought a bigger, more powerful model. Before long, he was spending his lawn-mowing profits on parts to make a succession of scooters (13 in all) faster and, seemingly, louder.

My husband and I worried that our son would never be content; that he would always search for something “better.”

Last fall, he started angling to buy a 30-year-old BMW “5-Series”; it just needed “a little work.” He had saved enough money for the car and its insurance. The fact that he was still 14 and not yet old enough for driver’s ed was of little consequence.

My husband and I reaffirmed our stand: high school boys should not own cars.

And then, one day, I had a change of heart while thinking of my brother Rick, who passed away a decade ago.

Rick had spent his middle-school years buying, improving and racing tiny “slot cars.” He soon moved on to real engines, and turned a VW-Bug into a dune buggy before he had his license.

He continued to overhaul cars throughout his teens, and, after college, moved to Hawaii to open a car-repair business and teach high school auto-mechanics.

So, who was I to prevent Son #3 from those experiences? We broke down and welcomed the old Beemer to our driveway.

To read about the first car’s short stay at our home, click here for the rest of the post. My friend and colleague and I take turns updating our PermissionSlips blog each week.

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Paul Zohav M.Ed. May 30, 2013 at 01:10 pm
Mercerwood Shore Club Address: 4150 E Mercer Way, Mercer Island, WA 98040 Phone:(206) 232-1622
Connie Carson May 30, 2013 at 02:33 pm
Thank you, that was not clear in the initial article. CC
Connie Carson May 30, 2013 at 03:18 pm
Sorry, that phone number rings forever. Guess I will be missing this.